Spring

As I wrote to Emily, today is why spring is some people's favorite season.
Not my case, not today.

I wish I could tell something fun or happy, but I don't have any.

Maybe I should start laughing about the unhappy situations??

23 cigarettes and so

1:39 AM 09/28/2010
2 Pieces of pie
23 cigarettes and so


8:34 AM 09/27/2010:

I sent 'Happy Birthday :)'
He sent 'Thank you :)'

Personal Thoughs
I sent him a text message at 8 AM. This is because I wanted he know how important he is to me.
It is important to note how happy was I because of the happy face.
That means that he is not angry anymore.
That means that he's happy today.
That means that maybe he is a little bit sensitive and is not as shitty as I thought
I AM NUTS

20:01 PM 09/27/2010

Me: 'I know that maybe this is not the wright moment but I hope that your concept about me has changed and now You remember me in a good way.
I've never wanted to hurt you. Hope you are really happy'

Though
I really want to. It's not a saying. Like, It's ok, we can talk, I don't bite.

NO answer received at 1:59 AM 09/28/2010

Could not sleep either.

I am idiot or what??
What the hell is wrong with me?

I wish I could punch my own face reaaaally hard without having to ask anyone.

Let's keep you up

This is what I most like about blogs. They are always recording the crap that you've been writing.
After reading my latest posts I'm able to say how stupid I am and how miss the inspiration that requires to fill all this, but the grey city is not enough inspiration. Got that feeling.

FRAN: I know perfectly you hate the 'Fran' but I am also your follower. You are not alone and I know as well that keep this updated is hard working time. I love you and miss you.
You've been my inspiration to post a new post :P
Thank you Fran and thank you Fran's mum?

Do you all remember when I wrote about I finally had my own home and that I would be living with friends? Ok, forget all that cause did not work (and when I mean it, I mean it).

How it does feel coming back to mum's? Ahm...I'm not gonna write about that.

So, yeah I got over my breakup, I got over 'the 1st German's departure, I got over the 2nd German's departure and I also got over my not-so-peaceful old house Issue.



I got a better salary:

Scale example:

1 YEAR AGO could pay 1 beer
NOW can pay 5349654631684646548645486 beers

Makes sense? It's not so so, but it's partially true.


I am planning since long time ago to go Germany. Now I think I'm gonna wait to reach my job commitment and ask to go Germany or France or Switzerland or wherever. I know that all that is possible and is not hard to get, still can't understand why people keeps working here.They are all wrong.

If I am okay? Honestly, got no time to think about it. I sleep, work, go to University trying to finish my studies once in a while and I work. Friends and family are worried about me and they still call me or send text messages that I do not answer. I think that I am avoiding social appointments and social life. I like that. I love my pijama. It never betrays me.

Hard days

Last week were hard days. Last week was a shit and don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Last week, i mean, this one is getting bad is getting shitty. Last week made me remind some past things that let me sad, but just a little bit.
And im just wondering why do i need to pass somethings through? am? Why i got the feeling like if something in my life were wrong and why and how im gonna get over that?
Why things are so difficult? Why some people have an easier life? What did i do wrong? Hows gonna be on the future? This bad luck is gonna come with me my entire existence? What shall i do with all this? What shall i do to change my luck and starting appreciating how lucky i am for having such a wonderful life? What do i have to do to forget all that happened?
Answers are totally welcome.

Society

A Cozy coushion sometimes is not enough.
That was exactly what i was thinking after almost ten hours working shift.
So, i decided to not believe in men. Men are shit. Men always say what you wanna listen (my mom spent my whole life telling me that). Mami knows...
But anyway. she never met the kind of men i like, so mami doesnt know a shit.
Coming back to the beginn ( so far away) i started thinking bout my childhood and how i became in ME.

I realized that perhaps the problem wasnt me. They all were the problem, not me.
Well, what was exactly the problem? They didnt know what i wanted.
So coming back to me again...thats it. The problem is the society that always tries to kill your innocence, dreams and all that crap.
Society. Being that word as general as possible, the concept is a lil hard to describe or define on theses cases.
Best excuse ever.

new place

Hey! Don't you think the volume is a lil too loud?? I'm thinking telling that but i wont. That would be rude, maybe.
Well...ammm...where to start, ha?
I moved out! Already got my OWN home :)
Well, i share it with a french couple and another friend and it's a huge old house. We don't even have a table or furniture or chairs and as we moved in just yesterday we couldnt clean well yet. It's gonna take some time to clean the entire house and a little bit more to put a couch or a table in there but the process, the new home, new life, new place and the freedom feeling is taking me higher than sky.
I'm getting older, im responsible for my dog, the bills, my job and career now and the house as well.
I like that?

Acting like jerk

"This city is just not you, you're other kind of girl, you shouldn't be here"
The bad boy from who cares?.
I met him a few days ago in my city, then he came here. I don't know what to say about him except that he's such arrogant. Anyway last night we were talking.

All the fucking time i was thinking ok, this is not ok. he was flirting with me and at the same time just being too much honest, REALLY! which was ok just for a while. Then started to bother me. Then was when i said "please stop acting like a jerk" and he continued acting that way.
When i realized that, until that moment, was ok but not anymore. On that moment was when i decided leave that place. On the right time.